This Floating Poo Was Way Too Meaningful! These Are the Television Disappointments of the Year.

As we consider the TV landscape of the recent year, a handful of series stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable failures. Ranging from cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly bad docuseries, here are the programmes that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

How to start with this love/hate follow-up? Burdened with dreadful writing, cringe-inducing character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the final season started, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then came an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator declared this would be the last series. It concluded on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was just way too symbolic. Yet, fans certainly had a hoot dissecting every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was practically the least of this drama's issues. The recipient of a very rare zero star assessment, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the problems. The laughably wooden dialogue? The mind-numbing veneration of wealth and materialism? The seemingly deliberate procession of tropes? Performances so bad they felt borderline spiteful? Let’s just say “all of the above” and never speak of this show again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Given the restraining orders, domestic violence claims and fatherly shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d truly have known it from this three-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless hedonism while struggling to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any pity this show might induce should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but dismissive egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Of course we knew it was ridiculous from the get-go: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.

MobLand

Shady figures convening in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to accommodate unconvincing accents. But there were many other problems. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a conflict over narcotics territory between various cockney picaresques which seemed rather simplistic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the extent to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s almost easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into quaint lifestyle as deliberate statements. But then you view them and are forced to concede that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue come to life; a meme for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental platitudes and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by immense, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are obviously interesting things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, identity, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Rather, the viewing was like consuming a marketing brochure. She obviously has good reason to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded non-event of a series.

The Game Show

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too complicated to explain what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was straining desperately to emulate something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How does one succeed a show that captured a generation? The pressure was enormous for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of famous friends involved felt icky.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the shrewd recruitment of talented younger comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke milked to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known irate mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be handled with care. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lurching from strangely breezy, somewhat mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A complete mess? Very much so.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the star … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a discovery that could ruin society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies spying on – and killing off – intellectuals honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This uncritical portrait followed the content creator renowned for explicit escapades as she prepared for her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was way more examination of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and absolutely no interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.